I Hope that You and Yours Are Safe and Healthy
What Divorcing Couples Are Not Telling You
& The Essential Role You Can Play in Mediation
My favorite way to start each initial phone consultation is by asking an open ended question, “Where are you in the process?” Before we dive into discussing their financial situation and their children, many couples feel compelled to share with me how they got here and that includes blaming their destination on their work with their therapist. Here are conversations from last week. It does not come as a surprise and not to you, I am, sure that the words “I chose to” or “I am responsible for” have not been uttered. Someone simply has to be blamed.
I felt like my therapist was biased toward my wife.
We spent too much time digging through our history, meanwhile our communication was broken and here we are.
We constantly fought about finances and our therapist only worked with us on teaching us talking techniques. It was about trust. Now it’s too late. I don’t trust him and you have to do some tracing work because I don’t trust that he is not hiding money.
Despite couples coming to me because they decided to end their marriage, I always explain to them how helpful a therapist can be on their new journey. As I had to learn myself, if you do not identify the origin of your trauma, what shaped your belief system, and learn to grieve all losses to become emotionally complete, it will continue to catch up with you and sabotage your life.
I have had great success when some of my clients signed a release and I was able to work with their therapist as a mini collaborative team. It worked wonders when a lot of emotions kept on getting in the way of finding a resolution around finances and creating co-parenting plan.
I greatly appreciate the much needed work that you do and will continue to stress it’s importance on every call and with every client.
Copyright © 2020 Top Divorce Mediator (Denisa Tova). All rights reserved.
Top Divorce Mediator
501 S. Cherry Street, Denver, CO 80246
9465 Wilshire Blvd, Beverly Hills, CA 90210