GETTING SPOUSE ON BOARD WITH MEDIATION
Getting Spouse on Board with Mediation Can Seem Like a Challenging Task. Here are a few tips on how to get your spouse interested in MEDIATION:
First don’t assume that your spouse is familiar with the mediation concept. Sometimes people think that if they mediation they will leave something on the table. That is a myth. Also, it is not uncommon where one spouse wants a divorce and the other not and will refuse to cooperate. Unfortunately in no fault states, it does not matter who wants out and why. The bottom line is this, even if only one wants a divorce, he or she will get their divorce. The question is does it mean that it will turn into an all out war if one spouse is reluctant to get on board with mediation. No at all. Denisa Tova, CFP, CDFA experienced mediator says “the reality is that you can either pay an obscene amount of money to wage a long litigated war with a very uncertain outcome or for a fraction of the cost and time you can control your own outcomes with a financial mediator guiding you through it. Here are some talking points to help get your spouse on board with mediation”:
- WE get to control the outcome of the settlement, not the lawyers or the Judge.
- WE get to control the cost of the divorce. The average cost of a litigated cost of divorce is $15,000 per person!!! With mediation we get it done for a fraction of the cost. There are mediators who offer an affordable flat fee model for the entire divorce.
- Lawyers are not financial experts and they have to hire experts, which will only add to the litigation cost! You can hire a mediator who is also a financial expert and who can show us the financial and tax impact of different options.
- The Court, lawyers, Judges don’t care about our history and how we got here, they see things as black or white. With mediation we get to decide what is equitable, and how to fairly divide up our finances. We also get to create our own parenting plan that works for our family instead of someone imposing this on us.
- We have nothing to lose by trying mediation. It is something that we would have to do anyway even if we hired lawyers.
- Invite your spouse to be a part of an introductory consultation with mediator(s) without insisting on making any commitments.
All Mediators are NOT the Same:
Denisa Tova, CDFA, CFP, MBA is a highly experienced Mediator who is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Certified Financial Planner, Forensic Financial Expert and Retirement Asset Valuation and QDRO Specialist. Mediator Denisa Tova, CDFA, CFP has Mediated Over 2000 Divorces.